Wednesday, April 25, 2012

C'est Fini! (kindof)

Voila: Le radiation mask! My Cancer land souvenir! Yesterday a friend hilariously suggested that I go out for Halloween this year as "Cancer". I could wear this mask, a white lab coat and wheel around an IV stand - ha! Anyway that really is me under there believe it or not.

Here mask is telling me that she's not so sure the Halloween get up is the greatest idea. What EV!

(insert the dancing monkeys here)

Today has been my first day of life without treatment in the foreseeable future. It's hard to describe what this feels like. I've been vacillating between not really truly believing it, and feeling like suddenly I'm on the best vacation ever. It's pretty unreal.

It's true what they say...radiation is a breeze in comparison with chemo. Very little side effects, no waiting, in and out. Downsides were having to go into the hospital everyday....but really - it was no biggie. I also got to spend time with my sister and family. It was awesome having some solid time with my niece and nephew. On the day of my last treatment Jonah (4) asked me if I was "done my cancer". Yes, little man, yes indeedy.

I have already launched into a full scale detox to try and give my body a chance to recuperate from getting bulldozed by a ton of toxic chemicals and radiation. Welcome to the spa of Julia. Where we eat enough green vegetables to sink a ship, refrain from any and all animal products, and kiss the Java and the snickers bar good-bye. Soy far soy good.  ;)

So the dreaded question for me right now is this one: What next??
You'd be surprised how often one gets asked this question upon the end of cancer treatment. I do understand how this seems to be a logical question. It's also the kind of question someone asks who clearly has never been through the kind of traumatic experience that turns your life a bit upside-down and causes you to question almost everything in it. (Either that or they spend a good portion of their lives in a significant state of emotional denial). I'm sure there are those who finish treatment, and it's right back to 'life as usual', but to be totally frank...I don't get that. So you won't be hearing " page turned, book closed, onward and upward, full steam ahead!!!" from me. I don't even know what that means for me anymore. I'm also an artist, so answering this question is hard at the best of times. Let alone after the big 'C'.
So here is the current Julia answer to that question. Note that this answer can change minute to minute:
What Next?
-I will get out of bed before noon. (if I feel like it!)
-I will drink plenty of water.
-I plan on eating lots of green veggies.
-I will go for walks.
-I will visit friends (when I feel like it)
-I plan on making soy lattes before bed!
-I plan on petting  the cat.
-I will rub my head and revel in the new growth.
-when fear of the future panic sets in I plan on stopping the mind circus and taking  a deep breathe.
-I plan on reading good books
-I will give myself permission to dream again.

So yeah. That is what's next.  I'll be taking my time with the whole recovery thang.

I also wanted to mention before signing off that I am THRILLED about my hair finally starting to grow back, even though it is slightly babyduck-ish. I also have eyebrows coming back in as well as eye lashes! You can't even imagine how exciting this is for me.

That's all for now. Huge thank you for all the support. I'll continue to post how things are going.
Big Love,
Your cancer free friend,


  1. Julia! "What's next!?" Dude, I'm not going to ever ask that question to anyone who has been through cancer! The 'what is next' is recovery! Savour life my friend, drink it in. Read, read, read, read in bed in the morning until noon, make a green smoothie, sit in the sun in the park watching people and children. Just 'be' my friend!
    Love to you!
    xoxo Adrienne

  2. So glad to hear about this. Make some more music!

  3. Great news - nicely done Julia. We should all take our watch off because time is technically always now. All the best to you.